Here is the storyline storehouse, starting with the first updated to the latest. I say that, because if you haven't figured it out yet, the comic's not drawn in chronological order. Enjoy the history.
-- The Mofo

CHAPTER ONE: Setting up shop.
10/22/2004
Introduction of our protagonists. Not necessarily in chronological order.
11/03/2004
Commercial for an already established SFH. Okay, really, not in chronological order.
11/10/2004
The boys are bored, and idle minds, and hands, are the playground of the Devil, as they say. Yes, this is the "First" comic, the same way as the "first" scene in Pulp Fiction is Vince and Jules driving to Marvin's place.
11/17/2004
Arcturus in class, with the bitch-that-won't-shut-up-from-hell.
11/24/2004
The boys discuss their potential first customer.
12/01/2004
The first job, a job well done.
12/08/2004
Paranoia about their first successful mission, and the ensuing argument.
12/15/2004
The second customer arrives.
12/22/2004
Finding an office.
01/05/2005
The security system works surprisingly well.
01/12/2005
They don't murder people... they just help hold them to their words, and if death happens to get involved, then so be it.
01/19/2005
Establishing "The Rules."
01/26/2005
Holding on to the archaic sense of "personal responsibility."
02/02/2005
What do you do when a potential witness is allowed to escape, knowing of your insidious business? Party like it's 1999.
02/09/2005
At the acid-trippers shindig.
02/16/2005
Never learn this from experience.
02/23/2005
Never experience this either.
03/02/2005
Making up for personal shortcomings.
03/09/2005
Where do they get it all from?
03/16/2005
Spineless and refusing to defend himself, the client explains his desire to off himself.
03/23/2005
Trying to enlighten his antagonists to the end results of their deeds, the client dies in a most public fashion.
03/30/2005
Good-ol' bathroom humor.
04/06/2005
New threads, new job.
04/13/2005
All services nonrefundable.
CHAPTER TWO: The Asshole.
04/27/2005
Newsprint Karma.
05/04/2005
Overwhelmed by vengeful karma, Arcturus takes a walk, while Hunter takes... you'll see.
05/04/2005
Meeting at the local diner.
05/15/2005
Arcturus takes a good, long look at himself... and starts talking, too.
05/18/2005
Arc tries to rationalize his freedom.
05/22/2005
Issuing a personal challenge.
05/25/2005
Arcturus wins... or he loses. It's really up to which side you're rooting for.
05/29/2005
Victory celebrations are cut short by the approach of a stranger.
06/01/2005
Making himself comfortable, the stranger begins his tale of why he wishes to die.
06/05/2005
The stranger makes it known that he is, in fact, an asshole.
06/12/2005
Asshole pisses off the wrong guy at the wrong time.
06/19/2005
Beaten to a pulp, he tries to save his skin, attempting to pput others in the line of fire meant for him.
06/26/2005
The betrayed betray the betrayer.
07/03/2005
For once, doing the right thing.
07/06/2005
No matter how much he doesn't want to, he just keeps getting pulled back in.
07/13/2005
What Hunter's been up to this whole time.
07/17/2005
The job is set into motion.
07/20/2005
Once you commit to Suicide-For-Hire, there's no turning back.
07/24/2005
As before, Asshole tries to weasel himself out of a situation he got himself into by trying to bring innocents into the fray.
07/27/2005
Cleaning up the evidence, the boys stumble upon an unpleasant surprise.
08/03/2005
Their work is guaranteed.
08/07/2005
Back at the diner, Arcturus is reminded that he may not be as strong as he thinks.
08/14/2005
Panic Attack!
08/17/2005
Pain Equivocation.
CHAPTER THREE: The Psycho*Stalker.
08/21/2005
Hunter tries to collect on a debt.
08/24/2005
The boys have a Q.T. moment as Hunter distributes his new fake IDs.
08/28/2005
How the youth of America REALLY get themselves armed and dangerous.
08/31/2005
Forced to go on ahead of schedule, the boys engage in some sketchy business.
09/07/2005
The boys encounter a willing customer asking for a quick execution streetside in broad daylight.
09/11/2005
The client breaches a prime regulation and tells of her story of woe.
09/14/2005
Unrequited love leads the client into becoming a stalker.
09/18/2005
When Techniques Backfire. Next, on Fox.
09/21/2005
Jealousy makes her tread her most desperate path yet.
09/25/2005
Sketchy behavior.
09/28/2005
Smitten by love, repulsed by peanut butter.
10/02/2005
In the midst of interrogation, a red alert signals an emergency.
10/05/2005
Autumn arrives, only to be promptly kicked out.
10/09/2005
Katherine learns that not everything you hear, no matter how likely, can be trusted.
10/12/2005
Mitch figures it all out.
10/16/2005
Formulating a plan.
10/19/2005
The army of the truth is assembled.
10/23/2005
Feigning ignorance, the client suffers her first loss.
10/26/2005
The only way to live.
10/30/2005
The empire of untruth collapses.
11/02/2005
A perspective on how love should be, and what it shouldn't be.
11/06/2005
The reasons behind the retaliation.
11/09/2005
Giving up hope, the flashback ends and we return to the present.
11/09/2005
Arcturus sympathizes with Autumn and hints at a path to redemption.
11/13/2005
Giving up hope, the flashback ends and we return to the present.
11/16/2005
Autumn "sincerely" apologizes to the target of her mania.
11/20/2005
The first "multilingual" comic to date.
11/30/2005
Seeing the futility of his attempt at redemption, Arcturus mulls his wasted time while Hunter proposes a fitting demise.
12/04/2005
A heated argument ensues about the gender equality issues of self-imposed execution.
12/07/2005
Ah, loopholes. *sigh*
12/11/2005
Autumn's job is set into motion.
12/14/2005
Hunter's creative liberties with their agreed procedure become evident.
12/18/2005
Debate over the freshly transpired events allows our protagonists to get caught off-guard.
12/21/2005
Escape becomes a priority.
12/25/2005
A new piece of decor is added to the base of operations.
12/28/2005
The boys stop for some fast food.
CHAPTER FOUR: The Egomaniac.
01/08/2006
Hunter mulls the rudeness of allowing one's pets to dump the trash of others.
01/11/2006
Hunter reveals his methods of deterrence.
01/15/2006
Unfortunately, things do not go according to plan.
01/18/2006
Arcturus gets roped into helping Hunter move the body of the crime.
01/22/2006
Almost caught, the boys distract the newcomer with the most lovably, cuddly thing they can think of.
01/25/2006
Precautions are taken to prevent the mistakes made during the last customer's experience.
01/29/2006
A new method of effective education is born.
02/01/2006
Codename Rudolph begins his self-absorbed story.
02/05/2006
A peek into the depths of Rudolph's conceited lifestyle.
02/08/2006
How one tells history and how it actually happened are rarely the same thing.
02/12/2006
Fresh off his defeat, Rudolph attempts to redeem himself in a musical venue.
02/19/2006
Damage Control.
02/22/2006
The formation of a coalition of revenge.
02/26/2006
Caught unexcpecting and unawares.
03/01/2006
Retaliation is delivered with lecture on the side.
03/05/2006
Another challenge is issued.
03/08/2006
Playing off the fury of the accused, the fight ensues.
03/12/2006
Action!
03/15/2006
Passing the asskicking torch.
03/20/2006
The other defamation victim gets his shot.
03/22/2006
Framing the scene to look like a drunken rampage.
03/26/2006
Codename Rudolph finds his reputation in tatters as we come back to the present.
03/29/2006
The post-story interrogation.
04/02/2006
Arcturus attemps to deter the desires of the client.
04/05/2006
Attempted dissuasion.
04/09/2006
The client comes to a realization... too late.
04/12/2006
Enforcing the guarantee, and making the future better for everyone.
04/23/2006
The boys provide themselves cover for their departure.
04/26/2006
Satan takes the fall and the boys discover that their codename for the client was not as ingenious as they thought.
CHAPTER FIVE: A Day in the Life.
04/30/2006
Getting ready for school.
05/03/2006
Driving to class and dealing with traffic assholes.
05/07/2006
Utilitarianism.
05/10/2006
Dealing with nags during exams.
05/14/2006
Discussing their days and running into a blonde bunny bombshell.
05/17/2006
Logistics of Anti-Gravity Ta-Tas.
05/21/2006
Perhaps at the most inconvenient time for Hunter, a special someone shows up.
05/24/2006
Hunter and Chryseis plan their long-belated date.
05/03/2006
Driving to class and dealing with traffic assholes.
05/31/2006
Hot-chick brain*fart.
06/04/2006
Hunter tries to get some action he denied himself in his run-in with Chryseis.
06/07/2006
Discussing women desirability.
06/11/2006
A most astute observation.
06/14/2006
Tangents galore as the boys grab a bite to eat.
06/18/2006
Taking the scenic route back to class.
06/21/2006
Arcturus does in after class to see how he fared on the earlier exam.
06/25/2006
These people are out there. I know who they are. I may be related to them. That frightens me deeply.
06/28/2006
A sketchy entry from "Ran Out of Time" theater.
07/02/2006
Comparing Pink Floyd with Anime.
07/05/2006
Hunter takes on the religious right.
07/12/2006
Hunter launches his first in a series of arguments.
07/19/2006
Continuing his exploration of biblical liberties, Hunter ruins someone's lunch break.
07/23/2006
Our Evil Protagonist explores the Christian tradition of subjugating women.
07/30/2006
Joined by the woman's husband, the sinister vulpine turns scripture into domestic violence.
08/02/2006
Shifting his destructive attention, Hunter reverses the situation on the husband.
08/06/2006
Oh, hey, there IS a second main character, huh...
08/09/2006
After certainly getting on the Black Panthers' hit list, Hunter claims he has finished his tirade...
08/27/2006
One trip to California for me later, I discover that I suck at illustrating again. That'll learn me to take off....
08/30/2006
Hunter alerts the mob that they themselves might as well have nailed their savior to the cross themselves.
09/03/2006
Vindication.
09/06/2006
Bordering on blasphemy for their final time, in front of the mob anyway, the protagonists see the fruits of their efforts.
09/10/2006
Celebrating their venture, the boys head to a local eatery to discuss Hunter's motivations for interference.
09/13/2006
We get our first look into when evil was young and chibified.
09/17/2006
Even as a child, Hunter's inquisitive nature did not sit well with his religious upbringing.
09/20/2006
As an annoyance becomes more prominent, a defining moment in Hunter's youth is exposed.
09/24/2006
An annoyance begins to become a problem.
10/01/2006
Arguments are made, one to pester, the other to be left alone.
10/04/2006
Slipping away from the commotion.
10/08/2006
Unappreciative of their evasive efforts, the waiters recites his manifesto of rape.
10/11/2006
Best sound effect EVER. Or worst. I dunno.
10/15/2006
Big Honkin' Boot II: Honkin' HARDER.
10/18/2006
Pulling the trigger.
10/25/2006
Changing attack strategies.
10/29/2006
The waiter is in for a colorful surprise to commemorate the second anniversary of the comic.
11/01/2006
Finishing off the business with the waiter, and Hunter remembers his true purpose for the day.
11/05/2006
Hunter theorizes how his date will play out, and tries to horrify poor Arc into a coma.
11/08/2006
Hunter displays his secred sci-fi-nerdiness.
11/12/2006
Horseplay aside, Hunter finally has a rendezvous with Chryseis for his date.
11/15/2006
Re-evaluating the day.
11/22/2006
Channelling Bob Barker.
11/29/2006
Haggling over discounts.
11/15/2006
Re-evaluating the day.
12/20/2006
Arcturus questions why the client won't let nature take its course.
12/24/2006
The boys make an entrance strategy for their newly attained employment.
12/27/2006
Proof that the author and the protagonists have played WAAAAAAY too many video games.
01/14/2007
Hunter puts hours on the couch in front of the tube to use.
01/17/2007
Explanation and execution.
01/21/2007
Panic in the ICU.
01/24/2007
The boys unexpectedly eavesdrop on an unwanted development.
01/28/2007
Catharsis.
CHAPTER SIX: Nine-to-Five.
01/31/2007
Channelling Charlie Brown, Hunter writes a "loving fan-letter" to the acronymed one.
02/04/2007
Arcturus meets up with an old acquaintance.
02/11/2007
The dangers of giving recognition to the people in your head.
02/14/2007
Celebrating Singles Awareness Day by debating what life would be like if Arc got bored after a personality overhaul.
02/18/2007
Arcturus presents his nagging questions to himself.
02/21/2007
Has a third party uncovered their devious activities?
02/25/2007
We break from the story for some inane activities.
02/28/2007
Returning to the plot at hand, Arc issues a challenge to his shadow counterpart.
03/04/2007
Arc and his dark half face off for Round Two.
03/07/2007
Explaining the contingency plan.
03/11/2007
Job interview.
03/14/2007
We take another break in the plot for some vulpine-related shenanigans.
03/21/2007
Arc meets his NEW co-workers.
03/25/2007
The boss explains her business strategy to the new hire.
03/28/2007
Arcturus is shown the tools and tricks of the trade.
04/01/2007
Customer service would be great without the customers.
04/04/2007
We take another plot break to check in and see what the lead vulpine is doing with his down time.
04/11/2007
Arcturus deals with his first slew of consumers.
04/15/2007
Facing the wrath of the mathematically handicapped.
04/18/2007
Crash course in culinary combat.
04/22/2007
Hunter toys with his favorite form of entertainment.
04/25/2007
Arc shows his naivety by having faith in the intelligence of the customerssi.
05/02/2007
Arc shows his naivety by having faith in the intelligence of the customers.
05/04/2007
Assaulted by a barrage of mind-blowingly stupid questions.
05/11/2007
Taking a break; getting an epiphany.
05/16/2007
Arc misplaces his trust that the customers will reckon the consequences of their choices.
05/27/2007
An ode to an unlikely source of inspiration: Bill O'Reilly.
05/30/2007
Deicide on a plate.
06/03/2007
Because Blasphemy is all fun 'n games 'til someone gets smoten with lightning.
06/06/2007
Catalyst arrival.
06/10/2007
Arc finds himself getting sentimental while committing assault.
06/13/2007
Leaving the nine-to-five-based mainstream occupation.
06/20/2007
Showing that sometimes you CAN go home again.
06/24/2007
The boys catch up, with a cameo that will win you the "painfully obvious" award if you guess it correctly.
07/04/2007
The Wayne Campbell and Garth Algar of death reconvene.
07/08/2007
Going out to celebrate a reunion.
07/11/2007
Nothing says fun like acid and strippers.
07/15/2007
Debunking the Dairy Conspiracy.
07/18/2007
Hunter stumbles upon the first potential customer since their triumphant return.
07/22/2007
A frat brother expresses his alcohol concerns.
07/28/2007
A bar-hopping twenty-first birthday ensues.
08/01/2007
Waking up hungover... and dead.
08/05/2007
The potential client deals with his friend's passing as best he can...
08/08/2007
The winds of public opinion start blowing against the client's favor.
08/12/2007
The client accepts the responsibility of his friends death... with a little outside coercion.
08/15/2007
Hunter plays barroom apothecary.
08/19/2007
The usual fallback is employed.
08/22/2007
The unwitting confessions of a terrified mind.
08/26/2007
The SFH duo explains their lack of sympathy for the client's source of misery.
09/05/2007
Confronting the mourning parents.
09/09/2007
A will broken.
09/12/2007
Execution is set into motion.
09/19/2007
Explaining the reasoning behind his mode of termination.
09/23/2007
Because what is Hunter if not a deceptive bastard?...
09/26/2007
I reiterate the query above...
09/30/2007
Another job well done.
09/19/2007
Explaining the reasoning behind his mode of termination.
10/03/2007
Confrontation of grief.
10/07/2007
The accusations of responsibility are turned onto the former accusers.
10/10/2007
Lacking the time to illustrate, we take a quick shot at unfortunately popular culture.
10/14/2007
End of chapter.
CHAPTER SEVEN: Two-For-One.
10/17/2007
Stepping back in time, the boys deal with a "lost" client from their inagural days.
10/21/2007
Something familiar, something new.
10/24/2007
Arc returns to HQ to find that things have changed in his abscence of which he was not originally aware.
10/28/2007
Ordering out.
10/31/2007
Discussing toppings for a pizza.
10/04/2007
THe order is delivered while Arc discovers that he's been had.
11/11/2007
The boys meet the previously-unseen outside influence which aids their deplorable business.
11/14/2007
Figuring that a gun to the face is the way Karma pays back for causing a heart attack mid-boink.
11/18/2007
In the time that he'd been gone, Arc discovers some modifications to the self-defense system.
11/21/2007
Calling shotgun while riding with some is meant more literally than with others.
12/02/2007
Just a cover story.
12/05/2007
Detailing the operation and considering a new line of work.
12/09/2007
Where porn comes from.
12/12/2007
Running behind schedule.
12/15/2007
Mach Fogey.
12/23/2007
Individual-specific legislation.
12/26/2007
The semantics of dead parents.
01/20/2008
Woman driver on a cellphone. Pray for survival.
02/03/2008
Seat belts as IQ tests.
02/10/2008
From moral opposition to reluctant spectator.
02/17/2008
Arcturus Winrock, H.M.I.C.
03/09/2008
Traffic Vigilantes.
03/30/2008
Condolence cookies.
04/13/2008
Sometimes pizza delivery is just pizza delivery. Until it's not.
04/27/2008
Stumbling into a domestic incident in progress.
05/04/2008
The boys stay behind to assist a potential future client.
05/25/2008
The woman affirms her client status, and begins her story.
06/18/2008
The fated couple first meet.
06/25/2008
Noticable problems arise.
07/09/2008
Not visions... delusions of the future.
07/16/2008
Isolation begins.
07/23/2008
Ugly, desperate jealousy leads to a desperate attempt to ease things.
07/27/2008
The client is not given a choice in her banishment from work.
08/17/2008
Acute battering incident.
08/26/2008
Running away to get away.
09/12/2008
She has to make the marriage work.
10/03/2008
Reconciliation.
10/20/2008
Quitting and failure.
10/28/2008
Tension-building and revisitation of the acute incident.
11/02/2008
Authoritarian intervention.
11/09/2008
The cycle of violence.
11/16/2008
Seeking help and reprieve.
11/23/2008
Pregnant.
12/04/2008
She's there... her scalp is here.
12/17/2008
Losing the baby.
01/01/2009
Back to the present.
01/12/2009
Words mean nothing when you're being slaughtered.
01/17/2009
ANY rule can be made up on the spot if you can pass it off as "little known."
01/25/2009
Why Hunter wants to "help."
01/31/2009
And their carraige returns.
02/12/2009
Ocean voyage by barrel.
02/22/2009
Explaining the plan to the client.
02/27/2009
Selling the idea of homicide.
03/10/2009
Strategic omissions.
03/17/2009
Of course, any radio dialogue eventually devolves into a MGS homage for any self-disrespective video game geek.
03/22/2009
Neo-Linguistic Programming, done in the style of Robert Patrick Modell.
04/03/2009
A moment's hesitation.
04/08/2009
Struggle for rhetorical supremacy.
04/14/2009
Failure, freedom, and consequence.
04/20/2009
Justifying non-interference.
04/24/2009
The lust for intellect over emotion.
05/03/2009
Entering the death venue.
05/14/2009
Explaining the procedure as being pertinent to her desires.
05/19/2009
Explaining the focus of her final piece.
05/25/2009
A final word of farewell whispered to her merciless abuser.
05/29/2009
The finishing touch applied, the boys do see a glimpse of her heart in the completed piece, and for a moment, understand.
06/04/2009
Down, depressed, a lone, char-broiled ray of sunshine stumbles into the office.
06/18/2009
Their new aspiring client, Ty, spins a poorly told lie.
06/23/2009
Ty attempts to save face with his fantasy.
06/27/2009
The boys' animosity for Ty's lies are obvious.
07/07/2009
The boys take the new client to the site of the last customer's emotional pinnacle. The last two panels got turned into a Team Fortress 2 splash poster.
07/14/2009
Ty wakes up as helpless as your standard Pinata.
07/23/2009
Ty realizes his lies have no effect on truth-centric individuals.
07/30/2009
It is explained to the client why the boys will get away with it.
08/06/2009
Cowardice begets a coward's end, and the procedure begins.
08/13/2009
The cruelty of fruitless hope.
08/27/2009
The client, now without the benefit of two major joints.
09/06/2009
The best way to stress a point is through repetition, after all...
09/15/2009
The client is held over the edge of a lifetime.
09/22/2009
Agreement is reached between the.. three?
09/26/2009
Hoof it!
10/03/2009
Denouement.
CHAPTER EIGHT: The Apprentice.
VARIOUS FILLER COMICS
10/16/2009
Attacking cable news with ill-equipped pastry.
12/30/2007
A plethora of superfluous bowls.
01/09/2008
The high point of the 90's Grunge Rock era.
01/13/2008
Hunter tears up watching his favorite movie of all time.
01/16/2008
Why the boys can't have nice things.
01/27/2008
The boys clearly don't shop at the fashionable places.
02/24/2008
The dichotomy for all time: Boobs? Or ass?
03/02/2008
Inside the mind of a sociopath.
03/16/2008
The benefits of gangbangers on windy days.
03/23/2008
God is love.
04/06/2008
The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single place-kick.
04/20/2008
Porn as potential future blackmail.
05/11/2008
Hunter's Do-It-Yourself Guide to Suicide.
05/18/2008
This one may very well be the author's favorite one he's ever done.
06/01/2008
Fun with supermagnets and femurs.
07/02/2008
When shanking hobos gets old, this would be an ideal way to pass the time.
08/08/2008
Why Hunter doesn't play Grand Theft Auto.
08/20/2008
In gang shootouts, sometimes the problem should be its own solution.
08/31/2008
Why Hunter needs a change of shorts for every Boston defeat.
09/22/2008
Why Hunter doesn't play Grand Theft Auto.
11/27/2008
One of those things you've got to keep seeing to believe.
12/10/2008
The consumer carol.
12/21/2008
No, really.
02/04/2009
Debating how progressive society has become.
02/16/2009
Cheap shot, I know, but I had to get it in.
03/28/2009
THE LIBERALS ARE COMING! RUN TO THE HILLS!
06/30/2009
BREAKING NEWS: Michael Jackson is STILL dead, and will continue to be so for the foreseeable future.
08/18/2009
Really, they are pretty much the same. Only it's getting hard to tell who invokes Godwin's Law more.

Strips long gone. Buncha Random Shit. If ya don't stick around, check these places out. All death threats can be sent here. Character Mofos.
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